Thoughts on Ukraine - 3rd Edition
I keep posting and removing info about my time in Ukraine. I guess I didn't want to sound too negative. I don't want to negatively impact our agency, especially because I need more of their assistance. But lets face the facts...the blog following will wane from here, to some degree. You who are viewing this need to know the truth. So, here goes. I really didn't like being in Ukraine after week four. Anya and Samuel were the highlight, and being with the Ritzmans and Dillners and others was really nice too. But I realized how much I love our country and Minnesota, and I truly felt great heartache for our homeland. The timelines discussed with us never approached 8 weeks, let alone 9, so the cost was really enormous. Had we come back for the 10 day waiting period, we only would have saved one week, as it turns out. The worst case scenario I had learned of was about 6 weeks. The extra three weeks was painful, and I saw Zach cross over into total mental and physical exhaustion. So adopting in Ukraine is tougher and more costly than advertised.
I was chatting with a friend at lunch who said he followed my blog, and concluded Ukraine is not an option he can afford, as his employer would never let him be gone for two months. They are considering other options. He told me their visit to Russia to adopt was a grand total of 10 days.
As Christians, we always face the importance of wanting to follow God's will. Every story is different about how families get involved in adoption, but we should not allow the fact that we are followers of Christ to be the reason we will trust any agency fully, even if that agency claims to be Christian. A friend of mine recently relayed an experience with an adoption agency, in which they would send emails saying, "We are praying for you", and the agency itself had lousy info on the kids in their portfolios, and in every business sense, was very lax in their approach. So such a message is hollow, because as my friend said, this is a business transaction, and the money you pay is in the tens of thousands. Our total costs for the adoption numbered well into the tens of thousands (count the fingers on your right hand). There are some who are concerned about my posting this figure, but it is accurate, especially when you have to spend 9 weeks paying for an apartment in another country.
I sold our Corolla today, and I sold it to a dealership, after I was thoroughly disgusted with the condition it was in. I did not want to sell it retail. I like the way our appraiser talked, though, saying, "It is what it is". I like that matter of fact approach. Adopting in Ukraine is what it is, and I've got two kids who I love from it. But the process is going to hurt adoptions from Ukraine, especially when other agencies get it done in three weeks (absolutely true). You have to seriously ask yourself why one agency can get it done in three weeks, and the other takes 9 weeks. Someone at our agency said as much, so you have to wonder why they send families to a region that takes 9 weeks.
Another thing you must consider is by the time you land in Ukraine, you are invested at least $25K at that very point. You are not in a position to dictate terms, being that you are in a different country. I recall one unfortunate conversation with someone back in the USA while I was there asking what the long delay was for, and this person said, "Then you shouldn't have adopted". Not exactly a sensitive comment there, and this was a person in our agency. Our agency name can be found easy enough should you read through my blog. They did not deliver what they said they would. There is no way to sugarcoat it, though I wish there was.
Nellie and I are done with adoptions, because we are are sent, and have been sent, two that need us, and they deserve our full attention, prayer, and love. God will provide for our costs...He is so faithful. But you, my readers, deserve the truth, so there it was. I can share more via email...just send me an email at david.moore7@comcast.net. And we'll keep posting. I'll get some photos up soon. Thanks for reading, and thanks for praying for us, and don't worry C & A...this one is staying up.
I was chatting with a friend at lunch who said he followed my blog, and concluded Ukraine is not an option he can afford, as his employer would never let him be gone for two months. They are considering other options. He told me their visit to Russia to adopt was a grand total of 10 days.
As Christians, we always face the importance of wanting to follow God's will. Every story is different about how families get involved in adoption, but we should not allow the fact that we are followers of Christ to be the reason we will trust any agency fully, even if that agency claims to be Christian. A friend of mine recently relayed an experience with an adoption agency, in which they would send emails saying, "We are praying for you", and the agency itself had lousy info on the kids in their portfolios, and in every business sense, was very lax in their approach. So such a message is hollow, because as my friend said, this is a business transaction, and the money you pay is in the tens of thousands. Our total costs for the adoption numbered well into the tens of thousands (count the fingers on your right hand). There are some who are concerned about my posting this figure, but it is accurate, especially when you have to spend 9 weeks paying for an apartment in another country.
I sold our Corolla today, and I sold it to a dealership, after I was thoroughly disgusted with the condition it was in. I did not want to sell it retail. I like the way our appraiser talked, though, saying, "It is what it is". I like that matter of fact approach. Adopting in Ukraine is what it is, and I've got two kids who I love from it. But the process is going to hurt adoptions from Ukraine, especially when other agencies get it done in three weeks (absolutely true). You have to seriously ask yourself why one agency can get it done in three weeks, and the other takes 9 weeks. Someone at our agency said as much, so you have to wonder why they send families to a region that takes 9 weeks.
Another thing you must consider is by the time you land in Ukraine, you are invested at least $25K at that very point. You are not in a position to dictate terms, being that you are in a different country. I recall one unfortunate conversation with someone back in the USA while I was there asking what the long delay was for, and this person said, "Then you shouldn't have adopted". Not exactly a sensitive comment there, and this was a person in our agency. Our agency name can be found easy enough should you read through my blog. They did not deliver what they said they would. There is no way to sugarcoat it, though I wish there was.
Nellie and I are done with adoptions, because we are are sent, and have been sent, two that need us, and they deserve our full attention, prayer, and love. God will provide for our costs...He is so faithful. But you, my readers, deserve the truth, so there it was. I can share more via email...just send me an email at david.moore7@comcast.net. And we'll keep posting. I'll get some photos up soon. Thanks for reading, and thanks for praying for us, and don't worry C & A...this one is staying up.
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